The Lighter Side Of Finding An Alabama Head Coach

I'm not gonna post what I seriously think are candidates for the Alabama Football Head Coach. But over the week I came up with some "what if" possibilities.

NOW for my (un)credible sources regarding coaching possibilities:

Bill Belicheck: When contacted today he was interested ONLY if he could bring Tom Brady with him to quarterback. Also, Alabama would have to add to their approved apparel line a gray hooded sweatshirt in both the normal and cutoff versions. Problem may come up when he cuts Prothro & over half of the team because he they are not interchangable parts that can play multiple positions.

Payton Manning: He showed great interest based on the fact that he can do a better job selling Golden Flake potato chips than Shula. Also, he can coach up those Quarterbacks to be unbeatable until the SEC Championship/Bowl Games arrives.

Frank Solich: Extremely interested to get back to a major school after being sent from Nebraska. Unfortunately he doesn't remember if a ball is thrown with laces up or on the palm. At least if he gets another DUI then he knows Bama wont be as concerned as they for beating their rivals.. something he was actually good at.

Bill Callahan: Not interested. Besides the Junior colleges around here suck and he couldn't find another Zac Taylor among them. Besides he likes that "Sea of Red" song that he plays everyday in his office and doesn't think Bama could come up with cheesier lyrics.

Paul "Bear" Bryant's Remains Sources say that if UAB balm specialists work 24/7, they can bring a soulless Bear back to life. Speculation however is that even though his soulless body and pale complexion would offer infinitly better possibilities than Shula, they could not possibly protect him adequately in his zombie walks down the strip at 6AM.

Tommy Tuberville: He likes to gamble.. but definitely not against himself. Besides, it would be difficult for him to get used to raising a lonely finger that wasn't a thumb.

Mark Mangino: Very interested however sources say that he wont fit on the plane back to Tuscaloosa, so this is a no-go. Of course he would be a coach which required long-term commitment since Bama would probably lose to the same opponent for 42 years straight only to say there was progress when he finally won the 43rd time.

Pete Carroll: No chance here. Besides he's already coaching a Pro football team it seems and the fact that Alabama has no Heisman winners looms as bad news since he expects every QB he coaches to win one.

Gary Barnett: Sources say he might be interested but that Bama better be ready for a woman to kick field goals.

Sylvester Croom: No phone call mention, no email, not even a mention.. yet he was waiting in the reception immediately after Shula was fired. Sources say he is a great choice if all other Division 1, 2 & 3, high school, pee wee and teeball league coaches are unavailable.

Larry Coker: Sources say he might can do some good but unfortunately his ability to retain players is low due to players leaving to transfer, go to the NFL, go to jail, or just get shot and killed themselves.

Mack Brown: Sources say that he would be sorry for how pathetic a coach Watson Brown is at UAB, so he wouldn't try to make Alabama so dominant.

Jim Tressel: A good fit but is questionable towards his determination that players practice in drycleaned tuxedos and wear it underneath their uniforms so that the program doesn't appear to be "dirty"

Lloyd Carr: Not a great fit since theres only so many people you can say "Shut the fuck up" to that has influence in Alabama.

Rick Probst: Too much publicity. Alabama fooball is a sport for ages 2-120 and doesn't include MTV fans. Besides, he demands so much lock down control that Mal Moore will have to be handcuffed and have a ball and chain in his mouth during press conferences.

General Zod: Although an excellent leader, a national championship would become worthless under his regime since he would have told his Krypton woman assistant coach to blow the other team a kiss prior to the game. Furthermore, if a team survives to play the match, General Zod will misunderstand the midfield kneeldown meant for praying instead of kneeling before Zod.

Terry Bowden: You must be THIS tall to coach at Alabama.

George Bush: Hey, at least if you can't coach, you can still come up with cool new words such as strategery that noone have ever heard of. Besides his prior history tells him.. (jingle) "at the Army National Guard.. you can"

LESSON 11: Being Wrong.. Even When Your Right

Sometimes people do the right things for the wrong reasons and the wrong things for the right reasons. But sometimes, no matter what somebody does, they weren't cut out to be considered "right" in the first place. They may have a personality that doesn't correlate to a decision maker. They could simply be a misfit to the situation. Therefore, doing the right thing even in the right situation is still the same as having done it in the wrong situation to start with.


There you have it.. now back to the coaching search!

No Posts In Almost A Year!

I've basically neglected this blog at rsmith2@blogspot.com for almost a year, but I will try in the future to keep up. In this blog I focus on sports and issues I see in my experiences. Hope you will enjoy reading these as much as I enjoy writing them! ;)

Alabama vs. Florida: From Prothro to ProNOOO!!!

This was probably the most exciting blowout that I have ever been a part of. It wasn't one of those games where we pulled away from the opponent.. It wasn't one of those games where luck had the better part of the winning team... It definitely wasn't a fluke... ALABAMA just kick some ass.

My friend Ryan Brooks said it over and over and over again "WE KICKED THEIR ASS... FLORIDA SHOULD JUST FORFEIT THE REST OF THEIR SCHEDULE!" As funny as that would be to see, I would actually rather see Florida do well the rest of the year. Why do you say? Well very simply this might can help Bama into the BCS or who knows.. maybe even a national championship game. Am I saying Bama will go undefeated? Well, no probably not.. but the whole nation has just realized that Bama is back and a 7-4 or 6-5 season now looks like an 8-2 or 9-1 season.

For us Bama dreamers though that want an undefeated season, that possibility comes down to three games: Tennessee, LSU & Auburn. If Bama plays like they did on Saturday Oct. 1st, 2005 then that undefeated season comes down to only Auburn. Tennessee and LSU are at home. Tennessee's QB is inexperienced which matches up well with Bama's linebackers (look what they did to an experienced QB like Chris Leak). LSU's secondary is very very bad and guess how Bama scored half of its points.. on deep pass plays.

The future is bright, but there is a black hole in our radiant sunshine. Without that black hole our radiance would have been way to bright to stare at directly. That black hole I'm refering to is Tyrone Prothro.

At first I thought that him being in the game was a mistake. But after further consideration (and much less alcohol in my system) I realized that this was an error of judgment from the coaching staff. An otherwise perfect game was destroyed over a greedy call to run up the score. Some people say that Florida could have come back.. not with 8:00 left with Alabama having the ball and Florida down to two timeouts. Throwing the ball on 4th and 5 was so bad for the simple reason that if Bama is going to claim to have class, the last thing we want to do is run up the score. With that in mind, Prothro was OK to be in the game. Usually teams will rotate wide receivers anyways.

What should have been done was to run the ball up the gut for 3 or 4 downs with a backup QB and running back. This was not done either... until Prothro got hurt. Bama coaches were being greedy and reactive, not responsible and proactive. They weren't thinking through a situation before they called it. NO way was Florida going to score 4 touchdowns in 8 minutes while Bama runs the clock out running. In fact I'm willing to bet that if they were still playing today that Florida STILL wouldn't have a touchdown. That's how good the Bama defense was. If an Alabama player had gotten hurt while the game was on the line, then that would be devastating but understandable... what happened to Prothro was simply devastating and mind boggling. As awful of a comparison this is it felt like a U.S. soldier who had been killed by friendly fire... Prothro got hurt in vein.

Now, whether or not you think Prothro should have been in the game when it was clearly in hand, the point is that he IS gone for the season. He had a clean break and will have screws in until about 6-8 weeks where he can then start rehab. He should be available for next spring's practice. Although Prothro's injury was not caused by a Florida player, I did notice from the student section that there was some clapping and birds flipped at Prothro. This to me was disappointing knowing that in my opinion Florida fans had been pretty cool for the most part. These fans in the upper deck above the student section though went too far.. and thus 25 or so Bama students waited at the bottom of the ramp to add more people to the hospital. I don't think anything really vicious happened for real but it definitely wasn't smart to try and taught 10,000 fans in the student section. This leads to the lesson.

LESSON 10: A desperate person loses all morality

Another reason not to run up the score... Florida knew they lost.. they were desperate.. all that could happen was a cheap shot that sent good players from either side out for injury. AGAIN, Prothro was not injured because of a Florida player but I couldn't help but think that while he laid on the ground. The Florida fans though showed desperation in their verbal attacks. In their right mind, they should know that they are visitors and there would be lots of angry home fans wanting to whoop them after the game. When they saw their once golden team torn to shreds they lost that sense that comes similarly when drunk.

No Prothro.. it really sucks... His game breaking type performance is very reminiscent of one David Palmer in the early 1990's. That dominating defense is very reminiscent of a 1992 defense that won the national championship. After the game, players held up the cheerleader flags which was very very reminiscent of the celebration after the January 1, 1993 Sugar Bowl.

It COULD be Bama's year.. but surely Bama threw themselves a big monkey wrench. Coach Shula has gotten more experience from a win than he probably will ever get. Next time he WILL take out all his key players, he will run the ball when the game is over.. and furthermore, him and his staff will learn what greed does to those that take it for granted.

Online Dating: In With The Times Or Another Internet Evil

In its initial stage, some technological advancement always seems to be a really, really great thing. Then just like a new toy, it gets to be part of normal life. Finally, this normality turns into necessity; much like eating or sleeping. Imagine just taking away your computer, phone, car, and T.V. and you will see exactly what I am refering to. Every one of these remarkable inventions are a part of our lives.

Just imagine back over a century ago when none of these inventions existed. How did people conduct business? How did they meet to go out on the town? Meet people to date? Well the answer is the same way we do today, only its at a faster, better, and more redundant pace. Humans have always done the exact same things as when they were created (I'll get into the creation theory another day). The only difference for us human beings is what tools we have had to our disposal. Usually these tools have been people themselves up until very recently with the advent of computers. Before the phones and computers and cars and such, people were used to initiate the communication between Party A and Party B. Good people and bad used what they had to acheive what they wanted. Now with todays technology take those same good and bad people and apply the technologies we have.

The key has always been communication. So what's wrong with the T.V.? T.V. is a wonderful way to get information and watch some of the creative ideas of others. Without it you would have had to go to a play or sporting event to get domestic entertainment. The problem with T.V. though is that people can get caught watching it no matter what is on. This leads to an overuse of it which then leads to not doing other things that us humans are meant to do. We certainly were not meant to watch a T.V. all day. Cell phones are an easy way to keep people in touch but sometimes it can be a way to annoy or harass people. Cars get people places much quicker but there is an associated risk of injury or death from operating a vehicle. Finally, with the Internet, you can get all kinds of information at rapid speeds, but at the same time you can be caught doing immoral or even illegal activities.

The point to all of this is that with each technology there is always a good and a bad associated. So lets take online meeting / dating. This has been used through instant messenger services such as AOL, MSN, Yahoo, etc.. There are also newer forms which put people together in certain groups such as Facebook.com or XuQa.com. These services are more intricate forms of IM, with deep profiles and abilities to send messages. Then you have those pay services that match up your personality with someone with the same interests.

With meeting and dating, traditionally it has occured from meeting friends of friends or relatives, or at some kind of traditional social event. Nowadays you can make a random search and find a profile, then try to talk to them in hopes that they are this wonderful person in which the profile seems to suggest. Most of the time it doesn't work, once in a while you will talk to someone for a while. If all goes well you might get a picture or god forbid to the traditionalists, meet up with them.

This is where the concept of online dating takes an evil turn for many. But is this really evil? Well the answer is that it depends. The good people will be taking it seriously and the bad people will take advantage of the good people. This leads back to a lesson from a previous post of being proactive to research before you get into something. But this concept is true for EVERYTHING, no matter if its online dating, traditional dating, or even if your going to a strip club. Women are especially vunerable to the evils of online dating. But women have always been vunerable around men. However, men have always needed women so the balance is why the man and woman relationship exists.

So, what do we do with online dating? Should it be condemned, banned, restricted? My belief is that online dating can be a good thing and should not be a chastised thing. Here are my takes for this topic:

a) There should be a minimum age for using the internet and instant messenger and a minimum age to engage in instant messenger or other services for online dating.
--> The latter is basically already in place with exception of the AOLs and Yahoo messengers out there. The key to this are parents who are educated about this and them educating their children properly.

b) Educate yourself on who you are talking to.
--> A profile and a picture is not enough to know about someone. You want multiple pictures in different scenes to indicate that more than likely these are not fakes. Also, look for inconsistencies with information the other person provides. If they start to say different things related to themselves then that is a red flag to not meet up or at least extend that until you are satisfied with the disparity.

c) DO not talk and meet online in the same day.
--> This is huge. You cannot know someone after one night. A good measuring stick is to wait 2-3 weeks at a minimum before meeting up with someone that is online. That way you have plenty of time to verify pictures, that person's info and personality, as well as their habits and intentions of the meeting.

d) Call and talk to that person before meeting.
--> Calling usually allows both people to verify a lot of the information that has been given. It's quite difficult to fake a phone conversation that is exactly like the discussion online. However, calling should not occur the first night either. This should wait for at least a week.

e) Once meeting in person, treat it almost like a first encounter in a traditional setting.
--> This is important for the single reason that talking to someone is much much different from talking on the phone or talking online. Talking online only shows words, talking on the phone shows words and voice, but meeting in person puts it all together with a picture and allows a true assessment. Here in the person to person meeting is where it will be ultimately decided if the engagement is worthwhile or not.

f) Keep in mind online where you are and what kind of possibilities you have.
--> If you weren't blessed with looks, you probably won't get much of a shake. But you never know. The beauty is that getting rejected is not that big a deal and there are a lot of fish in the pond. On the other hand though, if someone is good looking and a popular guy or girl, what REALLY are the odds that you will see these people online much. They usually don't need these forms of communication to meet people and so this can be a hindrance. Starting with the mid to late 20's though, this idea is diminished and there is more of a presence from everyone.

If these steps are followed, then online dating in my opinion is a great thing and will make the chance of truly meeting that special someone increase. You should not be ashamed of it.. besides once you meet them in person and talk to them, what is the difference between that and what was done traditionally. In reality, this is actually better than a traditional or blind date setting because you have knowledge of a person already and can focus on the emotional parts of the relationship.

Finally, deep in mind what online dating does. It keeps people together who may be 2,000 miles away for 2 minutes away. You can meet many more people from different parts of the world than traditionally. Usually in the traditional sense you are left to a game of chance to meet someone. There is a religious debate that can be argued however for this purpose, In this case though I'm refering to the sheer numbers of people you get to meet. Also with online dating you can take away your body language and strictly communicate with people. This could be good around a wife or boss, but can also be quite shady. No matter what though, anything you hide will come to bite you back later so it's better to be up front with it.

In my personal view, I do not eliminate meeting someone online. I have actually done this before and have mostly had failures. But it is not impossible. I wasn't doing it the right way. In my mind I PREFER to meet traditionally because it seems to go with the thrill of the chase, but on top of that I would like a good story to tell my grandchildren. However, which ever way I do end up meeting my future wife (god willing), I won't be ashamed of the way I met her. The key here: be yourself and everything will fall into place the right way. This leads to the lesson...

LESSON 9: Everyone has a set of cards. These cards are not equal to another person's cards. The true test of the human spirit and the fulfillment of life are those who take the most advantage of the cards they are dealt.

The more things change, the more they REALLY do stay the same...

The "DeLay" Is Over

I have maybe heard of this guy Tom DeLay about 5 or 6 times. I couldn't tell you much about him except that he's from Texas. You know from "Full Metal Jacket" that only "steers and queers" come from Texas. Well to be fair he probably isn't either one. From his biography, Mr. Tom DeLay is one of those guys that has worked hard all of his life to get to where he is at now. But with success many times comes critics and enemies.. this has probably "steered" him the wrong way and is now why he is facing a felony charge of Criminal Conspiracy. That one holds a minimum jail sentence of 6 months.. unless of course you are Tom DeLay.

With his indictment by a grand jury, he is going to be inactive for a while (that's an understatement). His role has been tremendous from the Texas legislature to getting President Bush elected for a second term. Basically, he helped to redraw the voting districts in Texas that allowed more Republicans to be in both the Texas legislature and in the House/Senate. (So THATS why the Republicans have a majority!)

So.... is this guy guilty? Who cares? He's a politician, most of them are guilty of something anyways. That's the whole meaning of the word politician: To make policy on something.. or in my words.. to screw someone or something over so that you can acheive a goal. Even if its not illegal, its very hard to keep it from being immoral. To counter this though I would have to say we need politicians. Just like we need janitors, judges, policemen, and black athletes.

But one thing I would like to see are people like janitors to clean up the shit that politicians barf out. I use janitors metaphorically because in this example the janitor is the common, everyday, good sensed person. Politicians don't care about janitors... Many politicians say they will look after the interests of the American people or the people in their area of office. They can't do that though.. they can only look after the MAJORITY interest. This majority interest is usually the one that gets them in the office in the first place. I don't think its fair to say that politicians should be looking out for everyone, they just need to stop using that cliche. So, what's my point with the janitors. My point is that as long as we have more janitors to clean the shit up than politians that barf it out, our country as a whole will remain very strong.

Look at the whole New Orleans situation with the flooding from two hurricanes? Who is to blame? Everyone, Someone, Noone? Again, who cares? No matter who speaks they are politicizing themselves.

Cindy Sheehan did it right. She lost a son in the war and proactively speaks to get other parents who suffered the same thing into the fray. Do you think if she waited on approval from government officials for the war that she would be speaking out? I don't agree with the anti-war protest, but that is her First Amendment rights, good or bad. She got arrested the other day.. but she researched and became educated on the consequences BEFORE she acted. Thats why she did some fingerprints, took her citation and walked out of the police station.

The problem arising is that everyone wants to be a politician of some sort. This directly results from two things: 1) increased responsibility by the masses and 2) the sharp turn towards an over-litigous society. You can sue anyone for anything for any reason.. and many people do this. However, what's lacking is a proactive education. If everyone took the initiative to investigate things before they did them, then we wouldn't have frivolous lawsuits, and government officials would not leave thousands of people to their unnecessary deaths from mother nature.

LESSON 8: Always know what you are getting into before you do it and be proactive about it.

Anotherwords, don't wait on other people or things to put something on you were you have a load of crap to clean.

When Tom DeLay got indicted for the Criminal Conspiracy charge, that was a victory for the janitors.

Now go! Be proactive and clean up some shit up!

Atlanta Braves Win 14th Division Title!

Let's see... who else can really say that in professional sports? That's right, nobody. Many Atlanta Braves players have said as they were getting drenched by the 14 kinds of wine while winning their 14th Division Title, "This never gets old!". I totally agree and I know for a fact that winning doesn't get old. Which brings up my point. What does get old is the fact that out of those 14 years of division dominance they have only ONE World Series victory to show for it. And that's in FIVE seperate tries meaning they are 1-4 during this run. That to me gets VERY OLD.

I think that this year they CAN win the World Series, but probably won't for the same reason they haven't in the past decade, pitching that isn't on fire. Sure, during the season the pitching is tremendous and the Braves are known for their top pitching staffs. But when it comes down to when it REALLY counts they seem to be one step short. The one lone exception is John Smoltz who has appeared in all 14 of the division titles. His role has always been solid and will continue to be so in these playoffs. Unfortunately, the place I would REALLY like to see John pitch is back in the bullpen.. Simply because the bullpen sucks. Even the closer Reitsma who has had a solid September had an 8+ ERA in August and is prone to losing leads. I'm quite terrified that the Braves will have the lead in the 9th and have to rely on these bullpenners who will mess it up for all of us.

So, how far will these guys really go? They will only have home field advantage for the Division Series, so I would say that this slightly favors them, although they have lost 5 or 6 to the Padres and lost to the Astros last year in the same Division Series matchup. If they get by though, they better hope not to play the Cardinals. This team is just too good and when the Braves did play them you could have just said that the Cardinals were resting their starters (Many of them were actually injured). So my prediction: Braves beat the Astros in 4 then go on and lose to the Cardinals in 6.

So, now that we are on baseball, who's going to win the World Series this year? I can tell you who won't. The Padres, the White Sox, and of course the Braves (Since I just stated their prediction). That leaves the Cardinals, Angels, and either the Indians, Red Sox, or Yankees. Forget which 2 teams get to the playoffs for the AL, Im taking the Cardinals in 6 games despite the fact they will not have home field advantage. Its feels way overdue to have a NL team win the World Series (even though it did happen in 2001 with the Arizona Diamondbacks)

So what lessons can we gather from all this....

LESSON 6: Consistency is a good thing in life if it revolves around acheiving a goal set higher than the last time you set a goal.

Why do I say this attached to the "acheiving a goal set higher" part? Well simply put, you could be like the L.A. Clippers, Kansas City Royals, or Prairie View A&M college football team and be consistently BAD. Or you could be like the New England Patriots and be consistently GOOD at a very high level (I will talk about the impact of this team in another post). So with those thoughts in mind...

LESSON 7: Consistency doesn't mean that you will be able to reach your higher goals that you set... it just makes sure to prevent mediocrity.

Theres a caveat to this.. I firmly believe in that trying your very best no matter what the statistical result becomes is preventing mediocrity even if it statistically shows that you were mediocre.

Back to the law books for me then bed. What a "consistent" routine I have for the week...

Tennessee vs. LSU

I was in class tonight (I go at night from 6:30 to about 8:30)and was able to check the LSU / Tennessee score. I left class and LSU was up 21-0. That's before I came home and watched them lose the lead and lose the game. At first I was pretty pissed off that Tennessee had won since I hate them for one.. but also I wanted LSU to come undefeated to Tuscaloosa so we could slam them.

Turns out though.. I'm glad Tennessee won for several reasons:

1) LSU's loss puts Alabama on top of the West in the SEC.
2) Bama is playing an undefeated top 5 team anyways (Florida this weekend, can't wait)
3) Nobody humiliates Tennessee except for Bama!
4) Maybe this time when LSU comes to T-town they won't actually take over the town like they did last time (They were #3 in the nation 2 years ago: Won National Championship)
5) Its just not as fun to beat a Tennessee team that is having an average season.

It was a good game to watch and hopefully if we can get a lead like LSU did that at least we can keep it... its doubtful (Look at what Southern Miss did) but I still have hope that Shula will give us a great season this year.

By the way I learned something in my Torts class tonight: You can make all the insults and racial slurs you want to other people as long as you don't have an intention to harm them. I guess its just morally wrong, but this is a very important fact that everyone should know:

LESSON 4: Law is the lowest acceptable form of morality.

LESSON 5: Just because you are abiding by the law doesnt mean your a moral person.

So with that in mind I will practice my immorality the weekend Tennessee comes down by dog cussing big Fat Fulmer.

Law School

Who says law school can't be fun?

I started going to Birmingham School of Law in late August and have been steaming along since the start. I always heard ugly rumors of how difficult it would be and how overwhelming the reading and briefing would be. Well yea, its overwhelming if you don't have a routine setup. But for me it hasn't been no where near difficult for the simple reason that it's actually fun. Someone told me once that you have to "treat it like a job". That was the best explanation I've ever gotten for law school prep.

How did I come to this conclusion that law school is fun? Well just like everything else, its all in your head. It's all about in what perspective you see things. I always try to see the good in something and don't allow the bad to overwhelm me. Sure there is lots of reading.. sure I can and have gotten humiliated in class a few times... but in your mind you have to not only bring out the positive, but also bring out the future. I'm a lowly first year (first month in reality) scum in a petri dish. My role is to work hard and shut my damn mouth (unless my professor makes me speak). Next year I will have experience and can have a different mentality... one of being a mentor to someone else.

For me, being in law school has been a blessing. Both my mother and father have gone to the same law school and graduated (My mom is the only one practicing law though). I feel family pride and I feel that I have something to prove.. not only to myself but to my school because I wasn't a shoe-in when I sent in my application... I had to get help from my parents and others to be given this chance. And so I won't waste it...

LESSON 1: Always look at the good in a situation and use those qualities to your advantage.

LESSON 2: Most everything is a mind game... So start lifting mental weights to strengthen your endurance.. leave Gold's Gym for another day.

LESSON 3: "Know your role and shut your mouth" - Steve Austin (Be mindful of where you stand in a certain situation and you will always have an advantage)

Here We Go... First Post

This is my first post to my personal blog. Basically I will reflect on things that go on in my life and observations that I have. I also will use this to make reviews on all kinds of items that have absolutelly no order to them.

I do this to help others out because that is part of what I like to do. I also like giving out opinions so feel free to email me with an issue and I can post an answer to this blog. I'm one of those people that thinks a lot about all kinds of issues and sometimes those thoughts are abstract, even radical ones.

Either way I hope you enjoy reading this blog and again, email me at rsmith2@gmail.com if you have anything to you want to say.